I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
