you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
