I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
