Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
