my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
