some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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