Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
