You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
