Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize