Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
