please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
