No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
