even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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