Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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