My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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