I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
