ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
