maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
only if we run a train.
done.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
