also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
