So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
