How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
