Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
