I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
