I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
