she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
