Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober

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(631): View more from New York

there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.

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(210): View more from Texas

no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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(702): View more from Nevada

do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.

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