He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
