how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Randomize