If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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