I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize