Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
