You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
