i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
