Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
