69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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