So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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