Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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