Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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