she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't put those talents on a resume
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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