I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
