dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
