You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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