Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
