singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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