Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
