have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
