Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
