I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
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