u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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