I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
