i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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