You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
