Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
