this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
