Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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