Yo dont text me then not text me
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
