i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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