yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
