yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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